You will be a Man, my son!

In the past few days, almost on a daily basis, there have been instances of mass killings across the world. Weapons have ranged from guns to bombs to knives and, the most outrageous, a truck. These instances have raged much debate. Debates on religion, gun laws, stress in today’s world, etc.

These are the only stories that news channels covered as well. If anyone wanted some news and switched on a news channel, he would only see killings and more killings. The conclusion? The world is not a place to live anymore and that our future is doomed.

My son is almost 2 now. Fatherhood brings about a very positive and much needed change in you. You start looking at the world differently. You develop feelings of sympathy, concern and affection for all children and people in general. The nature of throwing caution to the wind during bachelorhood and the not-so-serious life as just a husband disappear. What comes to fore is a lot of responsibility; responsibility to provide the best possible and the responsibility to contribute to the world a great person.

My wife and I are very certain that we do not want a son who is mega successful professionally but lacks human values. I would love to raise a mediocre child with great human values. And to start, I need to tell my son that what he sees happening in the world right now is not the wholesome picture. The focus of the world is on all the ills and the disastrous events. The correct focus would bring a huge difference of how we see the world and what we want to build it in future.

Who my son grows up to be is a result of what we, as parents and grandparents, teach him and, more importantly, what he learns and follows. If all goes well, here is what my son will grow up to be.

My son will love people around him. He will trust them until they break his trust, repeatedly. That is how lives are brightened. That is how we build a world worth living, a world that makes us believe it isn’t a punishment. He will value people for who they are and not for what they are. Designations and financial standing would not be his criteria to decide how he would present himself to people. He will respect and love the lowest in the social hierarchy as much as the highest in the social hierarchy.

My son will know to trust. We have developed this acute sense of doubt. We doubt everything and everyone – the doctor who is most recommended, the neighbour who is so good to us, the maid who does an awesome job of keeping the house in order, even they aren’t spared from our doubting nature. We have developed this attitude of being in doubt until proven otherwise. Strange, because we are the same people who have developed machines and programmes where the rule is that all is well until a bug is discovered! What’s more, when we get the same reaction from others, when others doubt us, we get offended and lose our cool.

My son will live life to the fullest because for him life will not be a punishment. The religious texts say that man was sent to earth as a punishment for disobeying God. In my own firm view, this is a story that man himself has created. God loves his sons and daughters. Life on earth is not a punishment but an opportunity – to make things better, to bring change and bring a positive, reassuring influence on people. Life is what you make of it. No one can dictate what life should be. Your life is your own and you are the master of it. Shape it as you wish. You may go wrong, but trust the almighty. He will help you correct the course.

My son will not complain. He will change something that he doesn’t like. If he can’t change it, he will adapt. Too many people complain about too many things through the day, every single day. Complaints have become a part of human character. As we progress and lives become tougher, our complaints are bound to increase.

Being anti-establishment, protesting against the system/law/government does us more harm than good. We aren’t freedom fighters, we are as free as free could be. My son will grow up in a very conducive environment, in a free country, in a free world. He will have no need to revolt or protest. He will bring change where he can and will do it in a manner that does not need the world to know what is wrong but will make the world notice and appreciate when the right is brought to light.

My son will be on the side of right. He will practice what he would preach. He will be true to his word. No matter how tough the choice is, no matter what the consequence of choosing the right would be, he would never deviate from this principle. Upholding ethics would be his responsibility and his first reaction in all situations.

I will teach him to differentiate between religion and God. History is what our ancestors wanted us to know. Religion is no different. God did not create religion. Man created religion. I often hear people saying that if God breeds hatred and intolerance, then why follow God? The fools do not know that men make their word sound like God’s. God gives you strength; religion makes you weak. Men build religion as they like or want it to be. God never asked for religions. God only taught his children truth, love and joy!

My son will follow rules because that is the right thing to do and not because someone’s watching. I see 2 wheeler riders wearing a helmet when they see a cop; four wheeler drives who create contraptions of the seat belt so it seems they are wearing the seat belt but they are not. I see parents telling their children to toe the line because they are watching. This is not the reason why rules should be followed! Rules make the world a better, more organised place. In most cases, they make the world a safe place. My son will follow rules because he would believe in a better world not because he would want to avoid a fine!

My son will be a true believer in God. He will not be a God fearing person, he will be a God loving person. He will know how to distinguish between right and wrong. He will not be blinded by faith. Instead, he will develop a stronger vision, thanks to his faith in God.

For those, who by now have a doubt if I would raise my son to be an ascetic, an idealist, an impossible person, I have only one thing to say. I will teach my son what he needs to learn to become a great human being. If he imbibes even half of what I teach him, I would be happy as a clam. You may think that if he becomes what I desire him to become, he will end up being gullible. It is in fact the opposite. My guru, Aniruddha Bapu, will give me the strength to become a good parent. I am sure, if I try hard enough, I will succeed. The first year of my fatherhood didn’t go as well as I planned it to be, thanks to the obscene working hours. I have corrected myself and will ensure my son has all the necessary support to blossom into a person who loves everyone and who is loved by everyone. What’s in it for him? I have just one thing to say – “You will be a Man, my son!”